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I'm basically a stray cat with opposable thumbs.

roachpatrol:

Has anyone made a videogame where you’re a princess locked at the top of a tower and have to fight your way down to ground level? Because dang.

Like, think about it: you’re given this nice little room and no objectives at all and when you open the door the guard says ‘stay in there’ so you wait and nothing happens and you open the door again and try and walk out and the guard pushes you back in and says things like ‘you’re our prisoner’ and ‘where are you going, you’re stuck here’ and ‘are you trying to meet your prince? he won’t ever get up THIS high’ and ‘get back inside before I get mad’. But you can pick up a vase of flowers, and you can swing it around. And the thing is all the guards are expecting the hero to be battling his way up, and all this one wimpy little guard at the top is posted to your room for is to push you back into your room, so you can smash him over the head because he’s just not expecting it, and then steal his weapons. And after that you find that the guards are always bigger and stronger than you—and they get bigger and stronger every level down—but you can generally manage to get the first shot in because they’re waiting for the hero, and you’re the princess. And maybe there’s puzzles and stuff too, but you have to solve them backwards, working your way along from end to start, because they’re all set up for the hero. And when you get the bottom and you have the fight of your life because the guards are massed up waiting for the hero, tons of them with awesome weapons and armor and spells and you think it’s the boss battle, but when they’re all dead and the final ground-level door is free to open the credits don’t roll.  And you realize there must be one more fight outside the doors, too, before you’re free, so you equip the best armor and weapons and potions you can find and go outside and you fight this one huge lone badass man on a badass horse in the sunlight. Then he’s finally defeated, and lying in the grass, and his horse is yours, and the credits still aren’t rolling. And you look at his corpse and you see he’s got a locket on, and in that locket is a picture of your face. 

And then you realize that that was the hero. 

And then the credits roll. 

(via annebonnys)

kneelbeforemistressphil:

kaalashnikov:

your-continuum:

kaalashnikov:

do you ever sit there and wonder what life must be like for people without anxiety

like they just

DO THINGS

without worrying about them first

wow

Anxiety is an excuse

I hope you walk barefoot on a world of legos for the rest of your life

The first time Tony Stark had an anxiety attack he thought he had been poisoned.

think about that

(via brokenarrowsandmumbledthoughts)

noirbettie:

somehowfurious:

kissing-monsters:

apiphile:

sexxxisbeautiful:

pizzagrrrl:

Peggielene Bartels, A.K.A. King Peggy, is currently the King of Otuam, Ghana. She was chosen to be one of only three female kings in Ghana, and when she discovered that male chauvinists wanted her to only be a figurehead, she said: “They were treating me like I am a second-class citizen because I am a woman. I said, ‘Hell no, you’re not going to do this to a woman!’” When she encountered corruption and the threat of embezzlement to the royal funds, she declared “I’m going to squeeze their balls so hard their eyes pop!”
King Peggy has maintained her work in Ghana’s embassy in Washington, D.C. while making education affordable in Otuam, installing borehead wells to produce clean drinking water, enforcing incarceration laws to deal with domestic violence, replenishing the royal coffers by taxing Otuam’s fishing industry to improve life in the village, and appointing three women to her council.
“Nobody should tell you, ‘You’re a woman, you can’t do it,’” she insists. “You can do it. Be ready to accept it when the calling comes.”
Quoted from the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Ms. Magazine.

What a beautiful badass woman.

King Peggy has been on my blog before but this is my goddamn blog and I will have King Peggy on here twice if I want.

MORE FEMALE KINGS.

Always reblog King Peggy, who is on my dash far less than she should be. Did you know she has written a book about her life? It is great, and you should all get right on that if you haven’t already.

Bitches get shit done.

noirbettie:

somehowfurious:

kissing-monsters:

apiphile:

sexxxisbeautiful:

pizzagrrrl:

Peggielene Bartels, A.K.A. King Peggy, is currently the King of Otuam, Ghana. She was chosen to be one of only three female kings in Ghana, and when she discovered that male chauvinists wanted her to only be a figurehead, she said: “They were treating me like I am a second-class citizen because I am a woman. I said, ‘Hell no, you’re not going to do this to a woman!’” When she encountered corruption and the threat of embezzlement to the royal funds, she declared “I’m going to squeeze their balls so hard their eyes pop!”

King Peggy has maintained her work in Ghana’s embassy in Washington, D.C. while making education affordable in Otuam, installing borehead wells to produce clean drinking water, enforcing incarceration laws to deal with domestic violence, replenishing the royal coffers by taxing Otuam’s fishing industry to improve life in the village, and appointing three women to her council.

“Nobody should tell you, ‘You’re a woman, you can’t do it,’” she insists. “You can do it. Be ready to accept it when the calling comes.”

Quoted from the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Ms. Magazine.

What a beautiful badass woman.

King Peggy has been on my blog before but this is my goddamn blog and I will have King Peggy on here twice if I want.

MORE FEMALE KINGS.

Always reblog King Peggy, who is on my dash far less than she should be. Did you know she has written a book about her life? It is great, and you should all get right on that if you haven’t already.

Bitches get shit done.

(Source: pizza-grrrl, via flatchestsftw)

neonrainbowdash193:

hippie-babs-seed:

shak1ra:

thisisgabbs:

Something that I and other people deal with. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and try harder to not let my problems make relationships unbearable to be with.

I don’t think anyone understands how incredibly fucking relevant this is.

If you feel this way around me, I will always forgive you.FROEVER!

please!

(via brokenarrowsandmumbledthoughts)

feferi-commander-of-booty-peixes:

flewor:

its a metaphor

jesus christ

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

badass mermaid gangs who demand a stop to ocean pollution and warn ships about imminent storms

faeries of the forest jamming out to heavy metal in the dead of night and sighing because there are literally no band shirts in their size

wizards that travel with play groups and perform the special effects 

friendly people reading ghosts’ favorite books aloud to them since they can’t always affect the living world when they want to

dragons that allow little children ride on their backs and roast marshmallows for them if they ask politely

immortal elves obsessed with medical science because human lives are already too short

(Source: the-fandoms-are-cool, via boneycircus)

“Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.”

newwsies:

I like wearing red lipstick and heels and crushing the patriarchy (but I’m gonna need you to hold my hand or arm or something because I don’t want to fall)

geekerypokery:

jeremymcbitchin:

Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process

(via cuckooforcombeferre)

my mother does not seem to understand that ‘just cheer up’ is not a viable response to depression/anxiety

another gem ‘its all in your head’

yeah, i get it.  thats kind of the point?

voiceofnature:

So I dyed my cats pink with leftover beet water. No regrets! <3 :D I had to wash them because of some oil spill they had gotten into, and chose to use the beet water, which is perfectly safe. I had no idea it would really make them this pink.

voiceofnature:

So I dyed my cats pink with leftover beet water. No regrets! <3 :D
I had to wash them because of some oil spill they had gotten into, and chose to use the beet water, which is perfectly safe. I had no idea it would really make them this pink.

(via brokenarrowsandmumbledthoughts)

luthienesque:

just want to raise a glass for oberyn for being one of the few characters who is actually disgusted and enraged by rape and the rape culture of westeros while being non-white, non-het, and not a huge piece of crap towards bastards and non-noble ppl

(via boneycircus)

misandryevans:

ok yeah but slytherin muggleborns buying a shitload of those really cheap ballpoint pens beore every term and selling them to pureblood/halfblood students for like 10 sickles a pen and all these kids are just mystified by the fact that they dont have to constantly dip quills when they write essays

(via boneycircus)